- All I Really Want For Christmas
Brian:
The snow is glistening in the trees,
As Christmas carols fill the breeze,
And children pray on bended knees...
Stewie:
Santa Claus, be sure you don't
Screw up my freakin' order, please!
Brian:
- Can't Touch Me
Can't touch me
Can't touch me
Juh juh juh juh
Just like the bad guy
From Lethal Weapon 2
I've got diplomatic immunity
So Hammer you can't sue
- Christmas Time Is Killing Us
(Санта Клаус (С.К.):
Каждый сочельник подарки под ель мы кладём и детишки все любят нас.
Но я устал
И сражён наповал!
(Все):
Рождество лишь только губит нас!
(Эльфы (Э.):
- Christmastime is killing us
Santa: Each bell would peal with a silvery zeal As the holiday feeling was filling us. But now instead, all we're feeling is dread Because Christmastime is killing us!
Elves: Each Christmas list gets us more and more pissed Till the thought of existence is chilling us.
Santa: I'll tell you what. Shove your list up your butt, because...
Santa and Elves: Christmastime is killing us!
Stewie: But can't you see that what you do Is a dream come true? Can't you see that every smile Makes it all worthwhile?
Santa: No, screw you! It's all but through, There's too much to do. All those dreams are nightmares And blank icy stares. Each little elf used to fill up a shelf Making playthings and selflessly thrilling us. Now they're on crack and it feels like Iraq Because Christmastime is killing us!
Elves: Each model train only heightens the pain Of the workload that's straining and drilling us.
Santa: Fingers all bleed. And look! That guy just peed Because Christmastime is killing us!
- Chumba Wumba
Chumba wumba gobbledy goo
Life isn't fair
Its sad but its true
Chumba wumba gobbledy gee
When your poor legs are stiff as a tree
What do you do when your stuck in a chair?
Finding it hard to go up and down stairs
- Drunken Irish Dad
Oh, he doesn't smell like Irish Spring,
And he never taught me anything,
But still I slap my chest and sing -
Of My Drunken Irish Dad.
Oh, his face looks like a railroad map,
And he never shuts his freakin' trap...
Mickey: But all the ladies catch the clap
- FCC
The Fellas At The Freakin' FCC Song
Peter: They will clean up all your talking in a matter such as this
Brian: They will make you take a tinkle when you want to take a piss
Stewie: And they’ll make you call fellatio a trouser-friendly kiss
Peter, Brian, & Stewie: It’s the plain situation!
There's no negiotiation!
Peter: With the fellas at the freakin FCC!
- Give up the toad
It'll spread chills
all through your body
and you'll lose
all control
of your bladder
and your sphinkter
(not sure if sphinkter is spelled right)
thats your butthole
- I Dream of Republican Town
Brian:
I dream of Republican Town,
Where men to the right of the aisle don't back down.
The streets are aglow with the smell of apple pies
And babies come out of the womb in coats and ties.
Nice place, huh, Rush?
Rush Limbaugh:
- I like farts
New Brian: I don't like fancy learnin' books,
I don't like apple tarts.
I don't like cozy breakfast nooks,
I don't like modern art...
- Mr.Booze
Peter: Mr Booze
Audience: Mr Booze
Peter: Mr Booze
Mr B Double O Z E
- Noble Indian Chief
Noble Indian Chief,
bring us back your ways,
you Indians were so awesome,
in oh so many ways,
They all loved each other,
regardless of their tribe,
One Comanche needs a cup of sugar,
and the Blackfoot would oblige,
- One Boy
One Boy, one special boy. One boy to go with, to talk with, and walk with. One boy, that's the way it should be.
(spoken) "that's the way it should be".
One boy, one certain boy. One boy to laugh with, to joke with, have coke with. One boy, not two or three.
One day, you'll find out, this is what life is all about. You need someone who, is living just for you.
- Peanut Butter Jelly Time
Ahh don't fell bad peter
hey I know what will cheer you up
noo I don't think im in the mood
are you shure
its peanut butter jelly time
peanut butter jelly time
peanut butter jelly time
way yah way yah way yah way yah
- Peter's hi-hi-hi-hi
хо хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи хи
- Rocket Man
She packed by bag last night, preflight
Zero hour, nine a.m.
And I'm gonna be high
As a kite by then
I miss the earth so much
I miss my wife
It's lonely out in space
- Thank the Whites
Peter: We gave you Eminem
And Justin Bieber too
Even though they dress and try to talk like you
The music of Taylor Swift and clothing from J.Crew
- The Bag Of Weed
Stewie: Now everybody gather ’round and listen if you would
When I tell you every person needs a way of feeling good
Every kitty needs a ball of string and every dog a stick
Stewie & Brian: But all you need is a bag of weed to really get a kick
All: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight
A Bag of Weed, A Bag of Weed
- The Spirit of Massachusetts
The spirit of Massachusetts is the spirit of America,
The spirit of what's old and what's new,
The spirit of Massachusetts is the spirit of America,
The spirit of the red white and blue
The spirit of Massachusetts is the spirit of America,
The spirit of what's old and what's new,
The spirit of Massachusetts is the spirit of America,
- Theme song
It seems today
That all you see,
Is violence in movies
And sex on T.V.
But where are those good
Ol' fashion values,
On which we used to rely!
Lucky there's a family guy!
- To poop before my anus bleeds
Credit Caed Debt:
Quagmire:
Hey, do you mind paying for this? I don't have any cash.
Peter:
Sure, I'll just put it on my credit card. I'm never gonna pay it back anyway.
'Cause I have thirty thousand dollars in credit card debt.
When they call, I tell them I can't pay it back yet.
Quagmire:
- TV theme
Lois:
It seems today that all you see
Is violence in movies and sex on tv.
Peter:
But where are those good ol' fashioned values
All:
- You And I Are Awfully Different
Both: ♪ You and I are so awfully diff'rent ♪ ♪ too awfully different, to ever be pals ♪
Stewie: Do you want to go first?
Brian: Yeah, I'll go. ♪ Your favorite hero is the Marquis de Sade ♪
Stewie: Oh, you're one to talk. ♪ You get a stiffy ♪ ♪ from Phylicia Rashad ♪
- You And I Are So Awfully Different
Both
You and i are
So awfully different
Too awfully different
To ever be palls
Stewie- do you want to go first?
Brian- yeah i’ll go
- You Have AIDS
Dr. Hartman: I don't know how to tell you this, Mr. Devanney, so I'll let these guys do it.
Peter: ♪ You have AIDS ♪
Group: ♪ Yes, you have AIDS ♪
Peter: ♪ I hate to tell you, boy ♪ ♪ that you have AIDS ♪
- Рождество
Джессика Билл и Меган Фокс
В паре лишь одних носков
Такой подарок я хочу получить
Да ну, как-то не практично
В Мексике жить своей мечтой
С черными и наркотой