Monty Python все тексты (слова) песен, переводы, видео, клипы

All things dull and ugly,
All creatures short and squat,
All things rude and nasty,
The Lord God made the lot.

Each little snake that poisons,
Each little wasp that stings,
He made their brutish venom.

Cheer up, Bryan! You know what they say?

Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best.

В жизни случаются плохие вещи,
Они буквально выводят тебя из себя,
От других же вещей хочется сквернословить и ругаться.
Когда ты размышляешь о жизненных трудностях,
Не ворчи, а лучше свистни,
И это поможет всему разрешиться к лучшему...

И ... всегда смотри на жизнь с хорошей стороны...

Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best...

And...always look on the bright side of life...

I wish those bloody bells would stop!
(Oh, it's quite nice, dear
It's Sunday! It's the church)
What about us atheists? Why should we have
To listen to that sectarian turmoil?
(You're a lapsed atheist, dear)
The principle's the same!

Brian. The babe they called 'Brian',
He grew,... grew, grew, and grew--
Grew up to be-- grew up to be
A boy called 'Brian'--
A boy called 'Brian'.
He had arms... and legs... and hands... and feet,
This boy... whose name was 'Brian',
And he grew,... grew, grew, and grew--

Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
who was very rarely stable.

Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
who could think you under the table.

David Hume could out-consume
Wilhelm Freidrich Hegel,

There are Jews in the world, there are Buddhists
There are Hindus, and Mormons, and then
There are those that follow Mohammed but
I've never been one of them.
I'm a Roman Catholic
And have been since before I were born
And the one thing they say about Catholics is
They'll take you as soon as you're warm

Praline: (whistles a bit, then) Hello i would like to buy a fish license, please
Postal clerk: A what?
Praline: A license for my pet fish, Eric
Clerk: How did you know my name was Eric?
Praline: No, no
No! My fish's name is Eric eric
The fish he's an halibut clerk: What?
Praline: He is an halibut

Whenever life gets you down, Mrs. Brown,
And things seem hard or tough,
And people are stupid, obnoxious or daft,
And you feel that you've had quite eno-o-o-o-o-ough...

Just remember that you're standing on a planet that's evolving
And revolving at nine hundred miles an hour,
That's orbiting at nineteen miles a second, so it's reckoned,

ROBIN (spoken):
Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead!

LANCE (spoken):
Here's one.

DAD (spoken):
I'm not dead!

I bet you they won't play this song on the radio,
I bet you they won't play this new $%^& song.
It's not that it's %$(* or #$*&^&* controversial
It's just that the @*%$ing words are awfully strong.
You can't say ^&*@ on the radio,
Or $@#! or ^&*% or 4*%*
You can't even say I'd like to ?:"* you someday
Unless you're a doctor with a really large ~!*%

The world today seems absolutely crackers.
With nuclear bombs to blow us all sky high.
There are fools and idiots sitting on the trigger.
It's depressing, and it's senseless, and that's why...

I like Chinese,
I like Chinese,
They only come up to your knees,

I'm so worried about what's happening today,
In the Middle East, you know.
And I'm so worried about the baggage retrieval
System they've got at Heathrow.

I'm so worried about the fashoins today,
I don't think they're good for your feet.
And I'm so worried about the shows on TV

Down at an English fair,
One evening I was there,
When I heard a showman shouting
Underneath the flare:

Hoi ve got a luvverly bunch o coconuts.
There they are a-standin in row.
Big ones, small ones, some as big as yer ead!

How sweet to be an Idiot,
As harmless as a cloud,
Too small to hide the sun
Almost poking fun,
At the warm but insecure untidy crowd.

How sweet to be an idiot,
And dip my brain in joy,

Good evening

We apologize most sincerely
To those of you who have bought this
Record under the impression that it
Was, in any way
Connected with the television program
"Monty Python's Flying Circus"

We're Knights of the Round Table,
We dance when ere we're able,
We do routines and chorus scenes
With footwork impeccable.
We dine well here in Camelot,
We eat ham and jam and spam a lot.
We're Knights of the Round Table,
Our show are formidable,

I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay,
I sleep all night and I work all day.

Chorus: He's a lumberjack and he's okay,
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

I cut down trees, I eat my lunch,
I go to the lavatory.

Perhaps one of the most interesting words in the English language today is the word 'fuck'. Out of all the English words that begin with the letter F, 'fuck' is the only word that is referred to as "the f word". It's the one magical word. Just by its sound can describe pain, pleasure, hate and love. 'Fuck', as most words in the English language, is derived from German. The word 'fleichen' which means to strike.

In English, 'fuck' falls into many grammatical categories:
- As a transitive verb for instance: "John fucked Shirley".
- As an intransitive verb: "Shirley fucks".

It's meaning's not always sexual:
- It can be used as an adjective, such as "John's doing all the fucking work".

Why are we here, what's life all about?
Is God really real, or is there some doubt?
Well tonight we're going to sort it all out
For tonight it's the meaning of life

What's the point of all this hoax?
Is it the chicken and the egg time, are we just yolks?
Or perhaps we're just one of God's little jokes

I've got,
Ninety thousand pounds in my pyjamas,
I've got forty thousand French francs in my fridge,

I've got lots of lovely lire,
Now the Deutschmark's getting dearer,
And my dollar bills would buy the Brooklyn Bridge.

Two men in a pub

Norman: Is your wife agoereh? Know what I
Mean? Know what I mean? Nudge
Nudge nudge nudge know what I mean?
Say no moreknow what I mean?

Him: I beg your pardon?

Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen.
Here's a little number I tossed off recently in the Caribbean.

Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis?
Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong?
It's swell to have a stiffy
It's divine to own a dick
From the tiniest little tadger

Rex Stardust, lead electric triangle with
Toad The Wet Sprocket
Has had to have an elbow removed
Following their recent successful
Worldwide tour of Finland flamboyant
Ambidextrous Rex apparently fell off
The back of a
Motorcycle "Fell off the back of

Sit on my face and tell me that you love me
I'll sit on your face and tell you I love you too
I love to hear you oralize
When I'm between your thighs
You blow me away.

Sit on my face and let my lips embrace you
I'll sit on your face and then I'll love you truly

Customer:
Morning,

Waitress:
Morning.

Customer:
What have you got?

We're Knights of the Round Table.
We dance whene'er we're able.
We do routines and chorus scenes
With footwork impeccable.
We dine well here in Camelot.
We eat ham and jam and spam a lot.

We're Knights of the Round Table.

Work, work, money, money, work, work, money, money,
Work, work, funny money, funny money, work, work.
Work, work, hurry, hurry, work, work, worry, worry,
Work, work, hurry, hurry, worry, worry, work, work.

Morning, morning, morning.
Morning Jill, morning Jack,
Can’t complain, keep coming back.

I Like traffic lights.
I Like traffic lights.
I Like traffic lights,
No matter where they've been.
I Like traffic lights.
I Like traffic lights.
I Like traffic lights.
I Like traffic lights.

Some of them are hairy
Some of them are bald
Some are kinda scary
And this is what they're called...

Vagina!
(Vagina) (X2)
They call that thing vagina